If you are a Music Education Major with hopes of teaching at the High School level (especially if you plan on teaching straight out of undergrad and not going to graduate school), you may find yourself in the difficult situation of being a teacher who is only 4-5 years older than some of your students. While there is some benefit to this situation-you will be able to relate to students better with a smaller age gap-there are important downsides to being close in age with your students that need to be considered. Students tend to see younger looking teachers more as “friends” than as instructors, which can make commanding authority, a skill that is already difficult for new teachers, even more of a battle. So how does the young high school teacher establish authority and a professional relationship with students? I asked a similar question on Twitter this morning during a class discussion on the topic, and these were some of the answers I got:
- Theresa White (@theresawhite) – it is difficult, I had to do it. Just remember you aren’t their friend, you are their teacher. And stick to your guns!
- Theresa White (@theresawhite) – make sure you follow through on discipline. If they think they can walk on you they will.
- Theresa White (@theresawhite) – and dress like a professional. Don’t look like one of them. You have to dress and act like you deserve to be respected.
- Josh Palmer (@palmerjosh) – Start early… the less you let them get away with off the bat the more in control they’ll understand you are…
- Thomas J. West (@thomasjwest) – Gaining respect as a young teacher is all about using your enthusiasm and passion tempered with a boatload of advanced planning
- Barry Zweibel (@ggci) – Share your insights/key messages in intriguing, creative, & counter-intuitive ways. Get them curious & they’ll engage more fully.
- Emily Widrick (@ubandtrumpet) – biggest thing is getting their trust/respect by showing u know what ur doing and that u care about them
First off, allow me to thank all the awesome “tweeps” who gave prompt answers to my question; I even had some responses before the class discussion I was participating in had ended! Anyway, there seem to be a few recurring themes in these responses and on the discussion topics. Here are some main ideas that will help you maintain professionalism with a small difference in age between you and your students:
Be a Teacher, NOT a Friend
While it is extremely important for your students to know that you care about them, and that you want to see them succeed, it is also important to establish that you are their teacher, and not their best friend. As a young teacher, you will still be able to relate to the students and the social issues they are dealing with. Furthermore, they are going to feel as though they can relate to you and your experiences, and want to know about your personal lives. Make sure you always approach students with the mindset that you are their teacher and not their best friend.
Dress Professionally
A colleague of mine shared a story about her brother’s first day of his internship. She related that he walked into the school, clean cut and young-faced, and on his way to the music classroom was apprehended by a school security officer for skipping class; her brother was mistaken for a student! This brings up an extremely important point: you will be significantly less likely to be mistaken as a student if you are dressed professionally. It always is a good philosophy to over dress, especially for the first few months of school. This way, you will set yourself apart from the students more clearly. Additionally, professional dress can also lead to a more professional attitude from your students towards you.
Follow Through with Discipline
Many teachers (and future teachers) have their own philosophies about discipline, but one thing is certain. If you are close in age to your students, it is to your advantage to start the year off by erring on the strict side in regards to discipline. This will establish that the students need to understand that you are the teacher and are in charge. While it will be tempting to be very lenient in an effort to get on the students’ “good sides,” this will only give them the impression that they can walk all over you. It is always easier to gradually ease away from a strict stance towards discipline than it is to become more strict as the year goes on, so if your teaching style is more laid back, remember that it will be to your benefit in the long run to start with a slightly stronger stance on discipline.
Be Passionate!
This is the most important way to deal with this problem. If the students can see that you care about them, and about what you are doing in the classroom, you will automatically be a leg-up in gaining respect. So many teachers nowadays give the impression that their job is just that-a job. This is painfully obvious in the classroom, and it is these teachers that students seek out and take advantage of. If you show the students you are passionate about what you do, and that you care for their well-being and their success in your class, then they will be more motivated to do what you ask them to.
Your Thoughts?
The “tweeps” above shared some fantastic ideas on this topic. What do you think? If you are a teacher who was in this situation, what strategies proved most successful for dealing with the small difference in age? If you are a future teacher, have you thought any about the potential problem? What solutions have you come up with? Let’s continue the conversation on this very important topic!
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